EPISODE 1 AUGUST 31 Baby, hurry up. You’ll be late. Don’t worry. How do I look? It seems like your first day at school was just yesterday. And here you are. Right. And now I’ve become a teacher myself. Are you nervous?.
Very. I’ve got something for you for your first day. Maybe you won’t like it. But a teacher can’t carry a backpack, can she? I love it! Thanks. -Thanks a lot. -There’s something else. Try it on. I’m not sure about the size. Mom, you shouldn’t have! -Oh, high heels. -I know what I’m doing. Dress to impress! High school girls all wear high heels now. Do you want to stand out?.
-Do they fit? -I think so. They’ll stretch anyway. It’s patent leather. -Do you want me to come with you? -What for? -To keep you company. -How would it look? -People would laugh at me. OK, bye. -Bye. Snappy punches! Block his attacks! Aim at his upper body and his head. Hands higher! Hit with your right, block with your left..
Kostia, go into defense. Good! That’s it for today. Looks like I’ve kicked your ass today, Kostia. -Are you kidding me? -Next time prepare to be knocked out. This sissy is threatening me! Mikhalych, tell him! I’ll tell you both it’s time to go back to your classes. Let’s wrap it up for today. Thanks. Ignat!.
I don’t feel like coming to school. How about we shirk it for today? It’s the first day of school. We can’t skip it. I don’t care. It’s a day like any other. Of course you don’t care. Come on. I’m tired of school already. As if you’ve opened a book even once. In fact, I have. One more year to go, and we’re free! Just a little bit longer! Come on, Kostia, get down. Hey, you punk!.
Leave my car alone, now! Are you talking to me, sir? Yes. Get down, quick! I can’t hear you, uncle! Let me clean your ears for you, punk! Let’s see what you’ll say then. Kostia, come on, let’s run! Stop! You bastards! Shit..
The car is damaged. I’ll run you to earth... you punks! Test, test. Shit. It’s off again. Hi, guys. Hi. How are you doing? -I’m fine. How about going to the gym? -I will. Ivantsova, why are you so pale? Orekhova, wow, you’ve put on some weight..
Is there a bun in the oven? Happy father, red-headed babies. This joke stinks, Smirnov. I hoped you’d get softer after the summer break. -Where is Ignat? -Over there. -Watch it! You might kill someone. -Me, watch it? You should watch it. What’s with the manners? Stop playing a clown. Who’s she? No idea. I suppose she’s new..
Hey, newbie! Nice ass. What year are you in? Your name, please. Not so fast. Are you trying to flirt with me? I don’t mind. Mayakovsky. -Are you satisfied? -Mayakovsky? Nice to meet you. -Likewise. What’s your name? -You’ll soon find out. You’re giving me hope! Shit. This piece of junk won’t work. Maybe it’s a loose contact..
So go check it! You know this stuff is ancient. Dear students and parents. September has come. So long to the hot summer and hello to the new school year. I give floor to our principal Maria Klimova. Dear kids... we’re so happy to see you again after the summer break. And we’re most happy to see those of you who have come to school for the first time in their lives..
“The Amur gang has arrived to Odesa...” SEPTEMBER 1. THE DAY OF KNOWLEDGE “The gang was doing fishy business, and the cops were watching them.” “Murka, you’re my baby! Murka, you’re my pussy-cat! “Murka, Maria Klimova, forgive your lover!” Here come the greetings for our Maria Klimova. They do it every year. How do they manage it?.
-Shlykov, turn it off immediately. -I didn’t... I’ll see you in my office. Why me? I just played the CD they gave me. Tomorrow... No, today! I want to see your statements on my desk. You’ll all get a detention! Well, guys, to the cradle of knowledge. That’s it. The last year before they set us free. And that will be it..
Ignat, why don’t we... go out tonight? I haven’t seen you the whole summer. Murka is doing the rounds. Be in class in a minute or face the consequences. -Hello. -Oops. Hi! Ah, you decided to join us after all. Just look at them! Is this the way to greet your new teacher?.
That’s a surprise. -So, you’re a teacher. -And also your homeroom teacher. What happened to Miss Svetlana? She got married and left to the capital. Take your seats, quick. Smirnova, you shouldn’t dress like this for school. This isn’t a night club. Maybe I want to get married, too. Me, too. To Kalinin. -What? -Quiet..
Wait, what’s that smell? Were you drinking? Smirnov, answer me. Me? Are you serious? Mrs. Principal, I’m an athlete, a boxer. I don’t drink. Aren’t we all athletes? I can see that. Shlykov, I’ll see you in my office during the break. Gotcha! Now, I’d like you to meet....
Ulyana Sergeyevna, your Russian Language and Literature teacher. We’re immensely happy. Smirnov, don’t be a clown. OK. You can start with your class, Ulyana. And if they don’t behave, send them to me. I know how to handle them. Sit down, please. -Well, let’s get to know each other. -Excuse me, Miss, how old are you? You look like a third-grader..
You feel like joking, Mayakovsky? Why don’t you do it in front of the class? Come on, don’t be shy. -Ignat, why Mayakovsky? -Later. Maybe you’d like to refresh last year’s material? Please, come here. Well? No volunteers? What a bitch. I can see it already. She’ll be sucking our blood, right? She’s a leech. I don’t like her blouse. I saw one like this at the market..
She doesn’t wear a wedding ring. She has probably just graduated. They say she was at the university. Don’t you dare flirt with him again. Let go! There’s no sign on him saying he’s yours. -You want me to put a sign on you? -Screw you and your Ignat! Hello. What a nice surprise! Mr. Mayakovsky! What can I do for you? I said the class was dismissed. OK, enough joking..
I’m Ignat... Kalinin. Iga for my friends. Did you want to talk to me? You’ve got 5 minutes before my next class. I was wondering if you’re going to teach some extra-curricular classes. Or maybe we could arrange individual lessons. I respect Russian literature. I mean it. I know, Comrade Mayakovsky. I read your poetry. Come on..
Seriously. How about a literary club? It’s a good idea. I promise I’ll think about it. Anything else? You want me... to apologize for that ass comment. Kalinin... you’re very rude. I know. That’s much better. Self-criticism is good. See? I’m not a lost case..
As for the ass, please don’t be offended, but it really is nice. -There’s nothing to apologize for. -Kalinin... get out of here. Please. OK. Whatever. Finally. I was worried. -Hi, Mom. -Hi, baby. How was your first day? -It could’ve been better. -What’s wrong? Your colleagues didn’t welcome you? Or is it the kids?.
Kids? That’s not how I pictured it. First day doesn’t prove anything. Let’s celebrate. I made your favorite cake. OK. You have to make your subject interesting for the kids. When I was at school, we used to have literary soirees, amateur concerts, go on field trips. By the way, why don’t you bring them to our museum? It would be very educative..
Watch it! You might kill someone. Mayakovsky. Are you satisfied? Just look at them. Are you a teacher? OK. I’ll think about it. -Here. 22 entrance tickets, as you said. -Thanks, Mom. Where are the kids? Something must have happened. You had to be here at 3 PM. After that, I have another group scheduled..
You go inside, Mom. We’ll be right with you. Kalinin, what are you doing here? We’ll be late! Don’t panic. Ladies, go buy yourself some ice-cream. This is boring. Do you really want to go? Is this a trick on the new teacher? Curiosity killed the cat. -I’m just asking. -So don’t. You’re weird. No, I’m not. Enjoy your ice-cream, Orekhova. Go ahead, kids. Am I late, Ulyana Sergeyevna?.
No. Where is everybody? I don’t know. These guys are so disorganized. -Are they? -Yes. What a shame. We’ll have to cancel the tour. Our tickets will expire. Why? I’m here, aren’t I? But wouldn’t it be weird? Not you, too. Why do women find everything weird? What does it matter whether it’s one person or ten? Let’s call it... an individual educational tour..
Shall we? "‘I will not be wandering about Trampling goosefoot in the bushes any more;" “And I know you'll never come around In my dreams, oat-haired, as before.’ You were tender beautiful and fair, Berry juice upon your skin, so light. You resembled rosy sunset glare, And, like snow, you were lustrous, fair and bright”. I liked that poem..
It was really rad. That’s an unusual compliment. I wonder how Yesenin would like it. I think he’d agree. He was a cool cat. Right? Right. Nobody showed up, though. Why? Aren’t they interested? Ignat... you know your friends. Tell me, what do they care about? I didn’t sign for this. I can’t speak for everybody..
I can only speak for myself. I, for one... care about you. Kalinin... are you mocking me again? -Why? -I mean it. I’m trying to be nice, and you... What did I ever do to you? Ulyana Sergeyevna, wait! What can I offer you?.
-Is it for yourself or for a gift? -A gift. Do you have any rare books? Here. A collection dedicated to the Revolution. No, that’s not what I need. This, then. The complete Pushkin in one volume. Published in 1937 on tissue paper. It’s a rarity. Is it? I highly recommend it..
Looks like that’s the thing. How much? We can discuss it. OK. I’ll take it. Hi. Happy Teacher’s Day. Thank you. This is for you. A present. And my sincere apology. That day at the museum... You got it all wrong. That day at the museum....
I think I jumped to conclusions. Wow! Pushkin. This is a very valuable edition. Did you know that? Yes. Thank you. But you could use it yourself. I have tons of them at home! How about we celebrate the holiday... at a cafe? We could talk, eat some cakes... have a glass of champagne..
Kalinin... are you making fun of me again? Take it. Why do you think so? I just wanted... to do something nice for my favorite teacher. Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your classmates. Iga! Are you coming? Go ahead... I’ll catch up with you. You don’t understand shit... Ulyana Sergeyevna. What kind of teacher are you? Iga, what are you doing?.
Let’s see who’s in class. -Antipenko? -Here. Good. Ivantsova. -Present. -OK. Kalinin? Ignat Kalinin? He’s not here. He’s absent, so to say. Smirnova, stand up when you’re talking to a teacher..
If you’re so well informed about Kalinin, maybe you know why he’s absent. Iga doesn’t like your class. Or maybe the teacher herself. The man says it’s a boring class. In a word, it sucks. I see. Shlykov. -I’m here. -OK..
Come on, repeat the punch. Sharper! Sharper! Go on, Ignat! What’s with your defense, Ignat? Right on the upper body, left on the head. That’s good. Ulyana Sergeyevna... I want you to taste my blackberry jam. In the old times people believed blackberry was good for your blood, liver, and kidneys. Thank you..
I see you have lots of books here. Does Ignat read them? I wish. His father was an avid reader, God rest his soul. Ignat is all about sports, this goddamned boxing. I hate these fist fights. His friend Kostia has had his nose broken three times! -Hi, everybody. -Ignat! Come in. Ulyana Sergeyevna has come to visit. Hello, Ignat. Hello. Are you here to complain at me?.
I just wanted... to meet my students’ parents and see how they live. -Are you satisfied? -Ignat, don’t talk like this. I am. Your mother is very nice. Thank you for the tea, Mrs. Kalinin. I hope I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Goodbye. Goodbye. Ignat, don’t be so mean..
She’s so young, and you attack her like this. She doesn’t deserve it. Ulyana Sergeyevna! At least say you’re sorry! Thank you for not telling Mom. I mean... that I ditched school today. Do you skip my class because it sucks? No, of course not. I mean....
OK. See you tomorrow. I’ll walk you home. “Of Grandfatherly gentleness I'm devoid, here's not a single grey hair in my soul! Thundering the world with the might of my voice, I go by -- handsome, twenty-two-year-old.” Twenty-two-year-old? OK, you got me. Seventeen-year-old..
“Gentle ones! You lay your love on a violin. The crude lay their love on a drum. but you can't, like me, turn inside out entirely, and nothing but human lips become! If you like - I'll be furiously flesh elemental, or - changing to tones that the sunset arouses - if you like - I'll be extraordinary gentle, not a man, but - a cloud in trousers!” Good, Kalinin. It’s an A+. All credit goes to Mayakovsky. I learned it by heart for you..
Here we are. Is this where you live? Nice to know. Ulyana, finally! I’ve been waiting for an hour. I got two free passes to the Philharmonics. We can still make it if we hurry. -Hi. -Hey. -This is Vitaly. -Ulyana’s fiance. And the young man is..? -Her fiance? -Yes..
Are you serious? Do you sleep with him? What? Who is he, Ulyana? This is Ignat, my student. Ignat, apologize. Right. Who does he think he is, this student of yours? -Iga? -Marina, hey. Hi. Did you miss me?.
Yep. How about we go out tonight? We could have some beer. What do you say? I’m all for it. Great. Tell the guys we’ll meet them in the park near the Philharmonics. Why Philharmonics? I feel like being closer to fine arts. OK, see you tonight. Bye..
Bye. We were lucky to get those seats. Did you like the concert? I’m sorry, classical music is not my forte. My darling, you need to raise your cultural standards. You’re a teacher. A teacher should know not only the subject she teaches, but also music, arts... Good evening, guys..
-Good evening. -Hello. Are you drinking beer? Of course not, Miss. It’s non-alcoholic. We’ve been discussing the creative work of... what’s his name? -Turgenev. -Right, Turgenev’s... -‘Mumu.’ -Right. Have you read it? It’s late, and it’s a school night. You all should go home. There’s no law telling us to go to bed at 9 PM. It’s bedtime for old people, though..
Come on, Ulyana. Let’s go. I waited so long for you to do this. But... Who are you really kissing? Me or the teacher? -What? -Do you think I’m stupid? Iga! Iga! Come back. Ulyana!.
Can we go out again? Maybe next week? Of course. Definitely. Thank you for tonight, Vitaly. It was nice. Did you have fun? Yes. You don’t sound like you did. Never mind. Never mind?.
I saw Vitaly kissing you. So, he finally made up his mind! He’s been courting you for a year to no avail. Maybe he’ll propose soon. He’s got wet mouth. So? Is it a problem? And I didn’t feel anything. What were you supposed to feel? Heaven falling down to earth? Angels’ choir? Vitaly is a mature man who knows what he wants..
And what he wants is what all decent men want. Settling down and starting a family. You should come down to earth. Hold on to Vitaly. He’s a keeper. Also, you won’t have to pay a dentist. Do you know how much a dental implant costs? And you’ll have... A free dentist in my family. I remember. Yes. Don’t even hesitate. Marry him..
Ignat, what’s wrong with you today? Hands higher! Respond to the attack! If you don’t beat them, they’ll beat you! It’s boxing, Ignat! Wrap it up! Ignat, are you OK? Any problems at home? Everything’s fine. Don’t come to the gym in such mess again..
Next time you’ll have to leave. I can’t see you like this. What’s so special about this teacher? She’s just a chick like any other. She’s not a chick, OK? And she’s not like the others. Right, she’s a real prize. Just screw her and forget about all this. One more word, and I’ll hit you. Got it? Iga! Are you really in love? Wait!.
Come on. Come on, bro. Guys, time is up. Stop staring. Smirnova. You want to ask me something? I’m looking for a word. How do you call a woman who steals men? A whore or a tramp? Smirnova, these are obscene words..
Please don’t use them in your essay. Who are you writing about? Excuse me, Miss, is Pinocchio a literary character? Can I write about him? Stop clowning around. Why? He’s cool and resourceful. Hand over your essays. Kalinin, what are you waiting for? Dad, I’ve qualified for the competition. Come on, hit it! -Eat. -Did you hear me?.
-What are you doing? -What about Ignat? -What are you doing?! -Ignat? He lost 3 fights in a row. The last one was a disaster. He’s still mooning over the teacher. What teacher? Russian Literature. Ulyana Sergeyevna. Marina, what’s wrong? I’m full. God... Mom, they are out of this world..
They’ve lost, as usual. What do they pay them for? What was that about Ignat? He can’t box anymore. Ignat is losing his shit. You need to help him. Young man... get out of my way. What do you want? A cigarette? I don’t smoke..
Money? I have a couple thousand on me, nothing more. I don’t need your money, punk. Leave Ulyana alone. Don’t even come close to her, got it? I get it. Next time I’ll aim at your kidneys. Got me? -Yes. -You’d better, you freak. I LOVE YOU Ulyana Sergeyevna! Ulya, Vitaly for you. Don’t you hear? OK..
Hello. Oh God. I’ll be there. What happened? Somebody beat him up. He’s at the hospital. Ignat, I don’t know how I can make it clear for you. Please leave me alone. Hello. Vitaly! Ulya!.
-Ulya! -Vitaly! Thank you for coming. It hurts so much... I can hardly move. My poor darling! Did you see the attacker? No. He was wearing a mask. What about his voice? Normal. Nothing special..
-Did they discharge you? -Yes. I’m really worried. What if I get sick? They can’t do without me at the clinic. I’m the only dentist there. Nobody can even make a decent cast without me. Excuse me. If there was a lady in this house, she’d have cleaned it up. I’m really strict about this. Do you want me to cook you something? Later..
Please have a seat. Ulyana... I’ve been courting you for a ridiculously long time. I don’t want to put it off any longer. Will you make me the happiest man? Will you marry me? Vitaly, I... I’m sorry there’re no flowers and grand words. It’s all just a formality. What matters is....
The bond... that we share. What bond are you talking about? Our mutual understanding. We’ve got to know each other well. I’m doing quite well. I own my apartment - not a bad one, I might add. My salary is good. You won’t lack anything. Within reason, I mean..
Vitaly, this is very nice, but... Do you want to have kids? I do. Every man wants to pass on his genes. I’m no exception. May I? Don’t ever take it off. I want everybody to know that you’re engaged. All we need now... is to set the date..
-The date? -For our wedding. A quiet ceremony and a celebration for our near and dear ones. We don’t need a loud party. Why waste money? How about... we talk about it after the prom? I agree. You look cool, sis. Inna Orekhova. Thank you..
Kostia Smirnov. Thank you! Thanks. Ignat Kalinin. Thanks. Congratulations. Good luck. My luck won’t escape me. Nastia Ivantsova. Congratulations. Ulyana Sergeyevna, make sure they don’t smuggle any alcohol..
I will. You’re supervising the prom... so you can’t leave until everybody else does. I know. Shall we? Go ahead, Ulyana. It’s obviously not me he wants to dance with. I want to kiss you. I’ve been dreaming of it... since we meet. I don’t want it..
I’m not your student anymore... and you’re not my teacher. I love you. Let me go. No. We have nothing to talk about. You’ve imagined it all. Besides, I’m in love with another man. We’re going to get married. In love... with this boring ape?.
You’re too good for him. You’re the best. Marry me. Ignat, are you insane? Not at all. Did you beat up Vitaly? Yes, sure. I wouldn’t touch him with a stick. I don’t believe you. So your folks are out of town? Yep..
-Shall we go to our place? -Sure. Iga! What are you doing here, all alone? She told me to get lost. She’s marrying this idiot. I wish I had beaten him harder. Why did you do this? Who asked you to? Come on! Clearing the way for your friend is a good thing to do. That’s what my dad always says. You’re my best friend, right? Forget this teacher. You’ll have more chicks than you can count..
Leave me alone. -I feel bad enough as it is. -Whatever you say. Just remember: I’ll tear anybody’s throat out for my friends. Remember it. Vitaly! Wait for me here, OK? I have to check the classrooms. I’m the supervisor, remember? Sure, baby. Go ahead. -I won’t go anywhere. -I’ll be back soon. Come on!.
Careful, don’t fall down. Guys, what did we say? No alcohol! Oh, Dostoyevsky! Oh, Pasternak! You think you’re better than us? It’s too late... to lecture us. We’ve already got our certificates. Why don’t you drink with us? It’s a big day, after all. Guys... it’s time for you to go home. Look at Miss Goody-Two-Shoes! Let her drink with us..
Or aren’t we good enough? Come on, teacher. Relax. Have a drink. Smirnov, you’re disgusting. Where do you think you’re going? Who wants to see more? Leave me alone! Stop yelling! Guys, have you seen Ulyana? She’s at the gym, lecturing the guys, as usual. -Come on. Nobody’ll hear you. -‘Oh, help me! Help me, noble sir!’.
She has nice legs, though. -Please don’t! -Come on! Relax. What are you doing? Don’t you get it? What are you doing? OK, you idiot. You’re dead. Iga! Militia? I mean, police? Come quick! There’s a fight here.